How

How could I have served as your peace when you stopped coming to me for comfort?

How would you have covered my shoulders with your tender kisses when you resisted reaching out for me?

How would I have been certain that I was at the center of your thoughts when you stopped calling?

How would you have ever convinced me that I inspired your soul and psyche when you suddenly found me so ordinary?

How did it become possible for you to no longer court me with the utmost intensity?

How could you bring an end to writing me with such passion?

How would you keep your hands off of me with such ease?

I am angry at you for not remembering how much you wanted me

I am hurt that you don't crave me the way that you used to

I am sad at the reality of being disappointed in you

I am aching at the thought of being without you

I am crushed that you don't refer to me as the pep in your step, your honey, your baby, your sweetie, and your calm

I am drenched in tears as I re-read your many emails wondering what I did to make you stop feeling and caring so much for me

I am missing the weight of your stare

Was it so bad that I was devoted to you?

Was it so bad that I adored you?

Was it so bad that I wanted more from you?

Was it so bad that I missed what you said we would have?

You committed the crime of marginalizing me

You lost me

How will you ever find me again as the years go by?

How will you ever replace the void of your angel?

Nooshan Shekarabi

June 1, 2009